How To Recover From A Breakup (Without Hating Your Ex)
There is no getting around the fact that breakups are painful. And honestly, suffering doesn't stop there; moving on and getting over a breakup can be equally painful and challenging. Whether you were in a healthy or toxic relationship, you could leave a breakup and hate your ex.
You might ruminate endlessly on how much pain they've caused or all the terrible things they did. However, this isn't always beneficial or a healthy method to channel your emotions.
When a relationship ends, the healing process slowly begins. Here’s how to recover from a breakup without hating your ex.
Reflect On The Relationship
A breakup can initially cause emotional distress. The five stages of grief can make you feel like you’re losing control over your life — regardless of who initiated the separation.
The first step to recovering from a breakup is to reflect on the relationship. Think about your time together and acknowledge the emotional energy you put in.
Reflection gives us the power to accept what happened to us. In time, it may even provide a fresh perspective.
Reflection may hold you accountable for your part in the breakup and help you to feel more empathetic toward your ex.
Incorporate Daily Tantra Meditation
Daily tantra meditation is a wonderful tool to gain control over our lives in the long run. It’s one of the best forms of self care since you learn to channel your highest self and use breathwork to work through anxiety, and remain calm — even when you feel angry.
It takes time to dissociate from your ego and establish a connection with your higher awareness, but once you do, you won't need to persuade or manipulate your mind into believing in yourself. Your self-esteem will have been reawakened.
Meditation can give you the clarity you seek about your relationship and help you find closure when reflecting on the situations you found yourself in with your ex.
Including meditation in your daily routine is about claiming your strength and stepping into your divine power. It involves learning the complete truth about who you are rather than just focusing on a few key aspects.
Start Journaling
Emotional catharsis is crucial to the healing process.
Writing in a journal enables you to express your viewpoint in depth while shielded from outside criticism. You can release your negative feelings in a safe space — unguarded and raw.
It's not necessary to keep a journal daily for it to be effective. Your healing will benefit from writing even a few times per week.
Reclaim Your Story
Only you get to decide who you are. No matter what happened in your relationship, you write the story of your life moving forward, and you deserve happiness.
After a breakup, it’s time to reclaim your story. It's time to figure out who you are apart from the relationship. Think about what was once enjoyed that you may have given up for the relationship. It may not have been a conscious choice — sometimes, when we’re in love, we gradually neglect hobbies and activities once enjoyed.
Consider the aspects of yourself that may have been neglected, too. Once you've identified them, think of ways to develop and nourish them.
This is the time for you to focus on building a new relationship with yourself. To reclaim who you are and develop a more positive sense of self.
Set Boundaries
There's no reason you can't establish reasonable restrictions on how and when you will interact with your ex.
Boundaries are a part of every healthy relationship. Especially one involving an ex-partner.
When in your relationship, you may have neglected your boundaries because you feel this is the most important person, and you wanted to please them. However, boundaries help you establish a healthier relationship with yourself and with others. Boundaries serve as a reminder that your desires and wants matter. Without them, relationships can be a source of anxiety.
Moving forward, determine what boundaries you’re comfortable with and voice them. Remain confident and loyal to your desires. This is about your healing journey, not anyone else's. Time is a friend, and it often brings the most healing.
Reconnect With Friends
Unfortunately, when our lives are enmeshed with the one we love, sometimes friendships are stalemate.
After a breakup, it’s important to reconnect and spend quality time with friends. Friendship fosters a sense of self and belonging. Social closeness is rooted in healing when surrounded by people who care about you.
Reach out to friends and schedule a get-together to help you get out of your head and around loved ones.
Acknowledge Gratitude
Even though your breakup has caused you deep emotional pain, try to acknowledge gratitude for the positive as well. Over the course of your relationship, you experienced happiness. Accept the perspective that this person you shared your time with taught you lessons about yourself and about love. These lessons may not have come to you otherwise.
This Will Pass
In time you will heal from your breakup and look back upon your relationship with a new perspective. With the right attitude, you can come to view this period of your life as essential for growth. Regardless of the circumstances, you did love this person, but ultimately, some people are only meant to be in our lives for a short period of time.
It can be difficult to see that holding animosity does neither anything good for us nor harm to the ex. However, we must keep in mind that exes are only regular people, just like us, and that people are frequently feeble, foolish, and selfish. Hatred cannot change the past, and it cannot transform an ex-partner into a better person. It only makes it more difficult to move on and grow from the experience.
We wish you well in your journey toward the re-discovery of self.
